Psalm 42-1-2

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?

I actually wrote this a few weeks ago. I had been reading this passage for several days. It actually started out a bit further down in the chapter in verse 11, “Why are you so downcast, oh my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God…”

I know, I know, I’m telling myself. Why?! Why do life lessons have to be so continual!? But yesterday and today I find a mellowness in my spirit (does that make sense? mellowness? You get my drift...) and simply the question of WHEN can I go and meet with God? David had an urgency to meet with God. I need that all the time not just in the hard times. Last week was a hard time that brought my spirit down to tears and feeling desperate. I know I am called to teach my kids at this time in our lives and we are in the Lord’s will – so why is it so hard? Why do I have to fight? Where is the joy in a very joyful job that I have? I am very overwhelmed on the day to day battle of growing my kids up. I am so tired that I don’t make the time for my own relationships – especially with God. WHEN? When can I go and meet with you Lord?

7:30 teach Bible, 8:00 math, then spelling, grammar and phonics. We move onto geography and science. If we are lucky we will get to history and art. There’s always writing and penmanship and music and spanish and typing. Did I miss anything? Tuesdays and Thursdays we homeschool in town. Did I forget to pack anything? Are the kids eating well, getting enough exercise and sleep? What do I cook tonight and how much laundry is there to fold today. The dog messed on the floor and the cat needs medicine. Judah is in need of some discipline – he just hit his sister over the head with a board. The car jerks funny when I drive, so I need a reminder to mention it to David. Ahhh, the dishes weren’t cleaned up and there are ants all over the counter. We are out of bread again? I guess tomorrow is a bread baking day. And it goes on and on…When My Lord, do I meet with you?

I am struck that it is because life is so busy that it becomes even more important to make that time with God. Special, quiet, know that I am God time. So if you have read this, pray that each day I will make time, because I will never find time, just to spend with me and my God.